**Seven People Shot at Washington State Park: A New Olympic Sport?**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation both bewildered and chuckling, seven people were shot at a Washington State Park last Saturday. Authorities are still investigating the incident, but early reports suggest it was part of a new, unofficial Olympic sport: Extreme Duck Hunting.
Witnesses claim that the chaos began when local resident Bob “The Quacker” McGee, 42, mistook a group of picnickers for a flock of rogue ducks. “I was just trying to get my daily cardio in,” McGee explained while sporting a camouflage fanny pack. “I thought they were a new breed of ‘picnicus interruptus’!”
Park ranger and self-proclaimed “Duck Whisperer,” Linda Featherstone, stated, “We’ve seen some strange things in this park, but this takes the cake. I mean, who knew that ‘shooting your shot’ could be taken so literally?”
One of the victims, who wished to remain anonymous but identified himself as “Daffy,” said, “I just came here for a nice day out with my friends. I didn’t sign up for a game of ‘Duck, Duck, Shoot!’”
Local authorities are now considering adding a new safety measure: mandatory “Duck Identification” classes for all park visitors. “We want to ensure that everyone knows the difference between a duck and a human,” said Officer Quackerson, who is currently drafting the curriculum.
As the dust settles (and the feathers fly), one thing is clear: Washington State Park may have just invented the most dangerous sport since competitive eating. So, if you’re planning a visit, remember: keep your head down, and for the love of all that is quacky, leave your shotguns at home!
