**Senator Proposes Bill to Allow Holiday Visits to Federal Cemeteries: ‘Honor Their Sacrifice’**
In a bold move that has left many scratching their heads and others rolling on the floor, Senator Chuck “The Grave Digger” McAllister has proposed a bill that would allow holiday visits to federal cemeteries. “It’s time we honor their sacrifice by letting families enjoy a nice picnic among the gravestones,” McAllister declared at a press conference, flanked by a group of confused-looking interns and a life-sized cardboard cutout of Abraham Lincoln.
The bill, humorously dubbed the “Graveyard Getaway Act,” aims to transform federal cemeteries into festive holiday destinations. “Why not celebrate Thanksgiving with Uncle Bob under the shade of a majestic oak tree, right next to his final resting place?” McAllister asked, as he gestured wildly with a turkey leg. “Nothing says ‘family bonding’ like sharing stuffing with the dearly departed!”
Critics of the bill, including local ghost hunters and the National Association of Grumpy Ghosts, have voiced their concerns. “This is a slippery slope,” warned ghost expert Dr. Mortimer Spookington. “Next thing you know, they’ll be hosting Halloween parties at Arlington. I can’t have my spectral friends being disturbed by a bunch of kids bobbing for apples!”
Supporters, however, are enthusiastic. “I think it’s a great idea!” exclaimed local resident Betty “Boo” Johnson, who plans to host a Christmas carol sing-along at her late husband’s grave. “He always loved a good tune, especially when it was sung by a choir of mourners!”
As the bill makes its way through Congress, one thing is clear: whether you’re a fan of picnics or just enjoy a good ghost story, the “Graveyard Getaway Act” is sure to raise some eyebrows—and perhaps a few spirits—this holiday season.
