**Sen. Cory Booker Delves Deeper into His Landmark Senate Speech in New Book ‘Stand’—And We’re All Just Sitting Down**
In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands with glee, Senator Cory Booker has announced the release of his new book, *Stand*, which promises to delve deeper into his landmark Senate speech. The book is said to contain “all the juicy details” that didn’t make it into the original speech, including his favorite smoothie recipe and a heartfelt ode to his pet goldfish, Mr. Bubbles.
“People need to know that I’m not just a senator; I’m also a smoothie enthusiast,” Booker declared at a press conference, while simultaneously attempting to juggle three bananas. “This book is about standing up for what you believe in, and also about standing up for your breakfast choices.”
Critics have already begun to weigh in, with one anonymous source claiming, “I thought the speech was long, but this book is like a marathon. I had to take breaks every few chapters to hydrate and stretch my legs.” Meanwhile, fellow senator and noted bookworm, Chuck Schumer, was overheard saying, “I’m just here for the footnotes. I hear they’re spicy.”
Booker’s book is expected to include chapters titled “How to Stand Up in a Chair Without Falling” and “The Art of Standing Still While Everyone Else is Sitting.” In a particularly bold move, he has also included a chapter on “How to Stand Up to Your Cat When They’re Judging You for Eating Ice Cream at 2 AM.”
As the release date approaches, fans are eagerly awaiting the book’s launch party, which will feature a live reading, a smoothie bar, and a dance-off between Booker and his biggest rival, Senator Ted Cruz. “I’m just hoping he doesn’t stand on my toes,” Cruz quipped, while practicing his best two-step.
In a world where standing up for your beliefs is more important than ever, Cory Booker is here to remind us that sometimes, it’s okay to just sit down with a good book—and a great smoothie.
