**Sanctuary Jurisdictions Removed from US Government Website Amid Controversy: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation scratching its collective head, the U.S. government has decided to remove all references to sanctuary jurisdictions from its official website. This bold move has sparked a wave of confusion, laughter, and a few spontaneous interpretive dance performances in the streets of Washington, D.C.
“Honestly, I thought they were just cleaning up the website,” said local resident and self-proclaimed internet expert, Bob “The Browser” McClickerson. “I mean, have you seen the state of their homepage? It looks like my grandma’s Facebook page after she discovered emojis.”
The decision came after a heated debate in Congress, where lawmakers argued over whether sanctuary cities should be included in the government’s online presence. “It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack,” said Senator Chuck “The Confused” McGuffin. “Except the needle is a sanctuary city, and the haystack is full of angry tweets.”
In a bizarre twist, the government’s website now features a new section titled “Jurisdictions That Are Totally Not Sanctuary Cities, We Promise!” complete with a cartoonish map that looks suspiciously like a game of Candy Land. “We wanted to make it fun,” said website designer and part-time magician, Wanda “The Wizard” Wiggins. “Who doesn’t love a good game while discussing serious issues?”
Critics have been quick to point out the absurdity of the situation. “It’s like removing broccoli from the food pyramid because some kids don’t like it,” said activist and professional broccoli enthusiast, Karen “Kale” Green. “Next, they’ll be taking down the entire food pyramid because it’s too pointy!”
As the nation grapples with this latest development, one thing is clear: the only sanctuary we can count on is the one that exists in our hearts—and possibly in the next episode of “The Office.” So, grab your popcorn and stay tuned, because if this is the new normal, we’re in for a wild ride!
