**San Francisco School District Abandons ‘Grading for Equity’ Plan Amid Community Backlash: Parents Demand Grades for Everyone!**
In a shocking turn of events that has left educators scratching their heads and parents clutching their pearls, the San Francisco School District has officially abandoned its controversial “Grading for Equity” plan. The initiative, which aimed to eliminate traditional grading in favor of a more “inclusive” approach, was met with a tidal wave of community backlash, leading to a decision that has left many wondering if they accidentally tuned into a reality show instead of a school board meeting.
“We thought we were being progressive,” said Superintendent Dr. Ima F. Noodle, who was last seen trying to explain the concept of ‘equity’ to a confused group of kindergarteners. “But apparently, parents prefer their children to have grades instead of participation trophies. Who knew?”
The plan, which proposed that students be graded based on their feelings rather than their actual performance, was met with skepticism from parents like local mom and self-proclaimed ‘Grade A’ advocate, Karen McGradeface. “I just want my kid to know if they’re failing math, not just that they’re ‘emotionally challenged’ in the subject,” she exclaimed, clutching a report card that read, “Your child is a star in the universe of potential!”
In a bizarre twist, the district’s attempt to replace grades with “emotional wellness assessments” led to a series of unintended consequences. One student, who wished to remain anonymous, reported, “I got an ‘A’ in ‘Coping with Disappointment’ but a ‘D’ in ‘Math’—which is weird because I’m still disappointed about that D!”
As the dust settles, the district has promised to return to traditional grading, but not without a final flourish. “We’re considering a new grading scale,” Dr. Noodle announced. “Instead of A, B, C, D, and F, we’re thinking of using emojis. Because who doesn’t love a good smiley face?”
In the end, the San Francisco School District learned a valuable lesson: when it comes to education, sometimes it’s best to stick with the classics—like grades, or at least a solid thumbs-up emoji.
