**Rubio Unveils Visa Restrictions for Foreigners Involved in Censorship of Americans: “No More Silencing Our Cat Memes!”**
In a bold move that has left the world scratching its head and laughing uncontrollably, Senator Marco Rubio announced new visa restrictions aimed at foreigners who dare to censor Americans. “We’re not just talking about serious stuff like free speech,” Rubio declared at a press conference, “but also the right to post cat memes at 3 AM without fear of international repercussions!”
The new legislation, dubbed the “Paws and Effect Act,” aims to prevent any foreigner who has ever pressed the ‘delete’ button on an American’s social media post from entering the United States. “If you’ve ever silenced an American’s opinion on pineapple pizza, you’re not welcome here!” Rubio added, while holding up a sign that read “#FreeThePineapple.”
Critics of the bill, including renowned memeologist Dr. Chuckle McGiggles, argue that the legislation is a bit over the top. “What’s next? Are we going to ban foreigners who don’t laugh at our dad jokes?” he quipped. “I mean, I can’t even get my cousin from Canada to appreciate my puns!”
In a surprising twist, Rubio’s office received a flood of applications from foreign nationals who claimed to have “never censored an American” but were actually just trying to escape their own countries’ terrible Wi-Fi. “I just want to binge-watch cat videos in peace!” said one applicant, who wished to remain anonymous but went by the name of “Meowzilla.”
As the bill moves forward, Rubio remains optimistic. “This is just the beginning. Next, we’ll tackle the real issues—like banning anyone who tries to explain TikTok to me!”
In the meantime, Americans are encouraged to post their most outrageous memes, because in the land of the free, the only thing that should be censored is bad taste in music.
