**Rockies Set Unwanted Record with 50th Loss of the Season: Fans Celebrate with a “We Tried” Parade**
In a stunning display of athletic prowess, the Colorado Rockies have officially set a new record for the most losses in a single season, hitting the big 5-0 faster than a toddler can throw a tantrum in a candy store. The Rockies’ 50th loss came during a nail-biting game against the Los Angeles Dodgers, where they managed to lose by a score of 12-1, proving once again that they are the masters of the “almost” win.
“We were really hoping to lose in a more dramatic fashion,” said Rockies manager Bud Black, who was seen sipping a piña colada in the dugout during the game. “But hey, at least we’re consistent! Consistently bad, that is.”
Fans, however, are taking the news in stride. Local resident and self-proclaimed Rockies superfan, Chuck “The Optimist” McGee, stated, “I’ve been a Rockies fan since ‘93, and I’ve seen some rough seasons. But this? This is like watching a train wreck in slow motion while eating a soggy hot dog. It’s beautiful in its own way!”
In a show of solidarity, Rockies fans are planning a “We Tried” parade to celebrate the team’s historic achievement. “We’re going to march down Blake Street with our heads held high and our hopes held low,” said parade organizer and part-time juggler, Linda “The Unbreakable Spirit” Johnson. “We might even throw in some confetti made of last year’s game tickets!”
As the Rockies continue their quest for mediocrity, one thing is clear: they may be losing games, but they’re winning hearts—at least the hearts of those who enjoy a good laugh. And as for the players? They’re just hoping to avoid the dreaded 100-loss season. “If we can just lose 50 more games, we’ll be in the history books!” said pitcher Kyle Freeland, who was last seen Googling “How to lose gracefully.”
So here’s to the Rockies: may your losses be plentiful, your spirits be high, and your piña coladas be cold!
