**RFK Jr. Blasts Democrat Senator for Decades of Health Care Destruction in Heated Hearing**
In a hearing that could only be described as a cross between a WWE smackdown and a family reunion gone wrong, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. took to the Senate floor to unleash a verbal barrage on Senator Chuck “The Health Care Destroyer” McFlab. The two squared off in a debate that had all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, with RFK Jr. accusing McFlab of single-handedly orchestrating the “Great Health Care Meltdown of 2003.”
“Senator McFlab has been in office so long, I’m pretty sure he was there when they invented the stethoscope,” RFK Jr. quipped, as the audience erupted in laughter. “I mean, I’ve seen more compassion from a vending machine!”
McFlab, unfazed, retorted, “I’ve been working hard for the American people! Just last week, I voted to keep the ‘Free Band-Aid’ program alive!” He then pulled out a Band-Aid from his pocket, which he claimed was “vintage” and “still good for a scrape or two.”
The hearing took a bizarre turn when RFK Jr. accused McFlab of being in cahoots with “Big Band-Aid,” a shadowy organization he claimed was responsible for the nation’s adhesive bandage shortage. “I’ve seen more transparency in a pair of sunglasses!” he shouted, waving a pair of oversized shades for emphasis.
As the debate raged on, McFlab attempted to defend his record by citing his “groundbreaking” legislation that allowed for the creation of “health care emojis.” “Now, when you’re feeling sick, you can just send a sad face instead of actually going to the doctor!” he proclaimed, to a chorus of groans.
In the end, the hearing concluded with RFK Jr. declaring, “If health care were a pizza, Senator McFlab would be the guy who forgot the cheese!” As the audience erupted in applause, McFlab was last seen trying to figure out how to order a pizza with extra toppings—preferably ones that didn’t include “decades of destruction.”
Stay tuned for the next episode of “Senate Showdown,” where we expect to see RFK Jr. challenge McFlab to a health care duel—complete with foam swords and a giant inflatable pill bottle!
