**Renewable Energy Companies Urge Trump: ‘We’re Essential for Your Agenda’**
In a shocking turn of events, renewable energy companies have banded together to send a heartfelt letter to former President Donald Trump, urging him to recognize their vital role in his agenda. “We’re essential, just like your hair gel and that one golf course you can’t stop talking about,” said Solar Power CEO Sunny Daylight, who also claimed to have invented the sun. “Without us, you’d be stuck in the dark ages—literally!”
The letter, which was delivered via a solar-powered drone (because, of course), outlined how renewable energy could help Trump achieve his goals of making America great again—one wind turbine at a time. “Imagine it: a wind farm in every state, creating jobs and blowing away the competition,” said Wind Energy Executive Breezy McGust. “Plus, it’ll give you a great backdrop for your next rally. Who doesn’t love a good turbine photo op?”
In a surprising twist, the letter also included a proposal for a new reality show: “The Apprentice: Renewable Edition.” “Picture this,” said Daylight, “Trump firing fossil fuels one by one. ‘You’re fired!’ he’ll shout, while a solar panel does a little victory dance in the background.”
As of press time, Trump had not responded, but sources close to him say he’s considering a new slogan: “Make America Green Again—But Only If It’s a Good Shade of Gold.”
