**Red Sox Call Up Top Prospect Mayer as Bregman Faces Major Quad Strain: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking turn of events that has left baseball fans scratching their heads and laughing uncontrollably, the Boston Red Sox have called up their top prospect, Marcelo Mayer, just as Houston Astros star Alex Bregman faces a major quad strain. Sources say Bregman’s injury occurred while attempting to outrun a rogue hot dog cart during the seventh inning stretch. “I thought I could beat it,” Bregman lamented, “but that thing was faster than my batting average!”
Mayer, who is just 20 years old and has been tearing it up in the minors, was reportedly “thrilled” to be called up. “I can’t wait to play with the big boys,” he said, “but I’m also really hoping to avoid any hot dog carts. I hear they’re dangerous.”
Meanwhile, Red Sox manager Alex Cora was seen frantically Googling “How to manage a rookie” while simultaneously trying to figure out how to keep Mayer away from the stadium’s concession stands. “We’re just trying to keep him focused on baseball,” Cora said, “and away from anything that could cause a quad strain. Like running after a taco truck.”
In a bizarre twist, Bregman’s injury has sparked a new trend in the league: players are now wearing protective gear designed specifically for dodging food carts. “I’m calling it the ‘Snack Guard,’” said Astros’ outfielder Kyle Tucker, who is already in talks with a local company to produce the gear. “It’s like a cup, but for your legs. You never know when a nacho cheese spill might happen!”
As Mayer prepares to make his debut, fans are left wondering if he’ll be the next big thing or just another player who gets distracted by the smell of popcorn. “I just hope he doesn’t trip over his own feet,” said Red Sox fan and self-proclaimed baseball expert, Larry “The Hot Dog” Johnson. “That’s how I got my nickname, and I’m still recovering!”
So, as the Red Sox gear up for what promises to be a wild ride with Mayer, one thing is for sure: the only thing more unpredictable than baseball is the food at the ballpark. Stay tuned for more updates as this delicious drama unfolds!
