**Reagan Administration Official Who Played Key Role in Defeating Communism Passes Away at 83, Leaves Behind a Legacy of Unmatched Hair Gel**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the world both mourning and slightly confused, former Reagan administration official and self-proclaimed “Anti-Communism Czar,” Harold “Hairdo” McGillicuddy, passed away at the ripe age of 83. McGillicuddy, who was known for his pivotal role in defeating communism and his even more pivotal role in perfecting the art of the mullet, succumbed to a rare case of “too much hairspray” syndrome.
“Harold was a true patriot,” said former Secretary of State George Shultz, who was last seen trying to comb his own hair into a similar style. “He always said, ‘If you can’t beat communism, at least look fabulous while trying!’”
McGillicuddy’s career was marked by his infamous “Operation Haircut,” a covert mission that involved sending stylists to Eastern Europe to give communist leaders makeovers. “We figured if we could make them look good, they’d be less likely to invade Poland,” he once quipped during a press conference, while adjusting his neon pink tie.
His most famous quote, “Freedom is just a haircut away,” became a rallying cry for many in the 1980s, although it was often misattributed to a shampoo commercial.
In his later years, McGillicuddy took to social media, where he became a viral sensation for his “Freedom Hair Tips” videos. “I always said, ‘A good blowout is the best defense against tyranny!’” he would exclaim, while demonstrating how to achieve the perfect volume.
As the world remembers McGillicuddy, his family has requested that in lieu of flowers, mourners send cans of hairspray to the local Republican Party headquarters. “He would have wanted it that way,” said his daughter, who was last seen trying to style her own hair into a tribute mullet.
In a fitting tribute, the White House has announced plans to rename the Rose Garden to the “Mullet Garden” in his honor. After all, if there’s one thing that can unite a nation, it’s a good hairstyle.
