**PWHL’s New GMs Gardner Morey and Turner Ready to Start Building Expansion Teams Next Week: “We’re Just Here for the Snacks!”**
In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the sports world both confused and mildly amused, the Professional Women’s Hockey League (PWHL) has appointed Gardner Morey and Turner “The Turnerator” McFlurry as the new General Managers for its upcoming expansion teams. The dynamic duo is reportedly ready to start building their rosters next week, armed with nothing but a questionable draft strategy and a snack table that could rival a Super Bowl party.
“I’ve always believed that the key to a successful team is a solid foundation,” said Morey, who once built a sandcastle that was promptly washed away by a rogue wave. “And by foundation, I mean a buffet of nachos and guacamole. You can’t play on an empty stomach!”
Turner, known for his uncanny ability to draft players based on their Instagram follower count, added, “We’re not just looking for talent; we’re looking for charisma. If you can’t make a TikTok dance, you’re out. Sorry, Grandma!”
The pair has already begun scouting potential players, with reports indicating they’ve been spotted at local ice rinks, armed with a clipboard and a bag of gummy bears. “We’re looking for the next big star,” Turner said, “or at least someone who can do a decent backflip on skates. That’s a must!”
As the league prepares for its expansion, fans are left wondering what to expect. “I just hope they don’t draft my cousin Larry,” said local hockey enthusiast and self-proclaimed expert, Sheila “The Puck Whisperer” Johnson. “He can barely skate, let alone score a goal. But he does make a mean chili!”
With the expansion draft just around the corner, Morey and Turner are ready to take the PWHL by storm—or at least by snack storm. “We’re here to build champions,” Morey declared, “and by champions, I mean a team that can finish an entire pizza in one sitting. That’s the real victory!”
As the countdown begins, one thing is clear: the PWHL is about to get a whole lot more entertaining, and possibly a little more cheesy. Stay tuned for updates as Morey and Turner prepare to draft their dream team—one nacho at a time!
