**Pro-Life Advocate Applauds Texas Bill Mandating Ten Commandments in Schools: ‘A Positive Move Forward’**
In a groundbreaking move that has left educators scratching their heads and students wondering if they accidentally enrolled in a Sunday school, Texas has officially mandated the display of the Ten Commandments in public schools. Pro-life advocate and self-proclaimed “Commandment Connoisseur,” Billy Bibleman, hailed the bill as “a positive move forward” for education, claiming it will “bring back the good old days when kids learned right from wrong—mostly wrong, but still.”
The bill, which passed with a resounding “Hallelujah!” from the state legislature, requires schools to hang the Ten Commandments in every classroom, cafeteria, and possibly even the janitor’s closet. “We’re not just teaching math and science anymore,” Bibleman declared at a press conference, “we’re teaching kids how to not covet their neighbor’s Wi-Fi password!”
Critics of the bill, including local atheist and part-time magician, David Disappearo, expressed concern that the commandments might distract students from their studies. “I mean, how can you focus on algebra when you’re busy pondering whether or not to honor your father and mother?” he lamented. “I can barely honor my own lunch break!”
In a surprising twist, the bill also includes a provision for schools to offer “Commandment Classes,” where students can earn extra credit by reenacting the commandments in interpretive dance. “We’re calling it ‘Dancing with the Commandments,’” said Principal Pat Pious. “It’s like ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ but with less glitter and more guilt.”
As the bill rolls out, Bibleman remains optimistic. “This is just the beginning,” he said, “next, we’ll tackle the Seven Deadly Sins. I hear gluttony is a real crowd-pleaser!”
In the meantime, students are preparing for a new school year filled with divine inspiration and possibly a few detentions for “coveting thy neighbor’s lunch.” Only in Texas, folks!
