**Pope Leo XIV Blesses Cyclists at Giro d’Italia’s Final Stage in Vatican Gardens**
In a move that has left both the cycling world and the Vatican scratching their heads, Pope Leo XIV took to the Vatican Gardens this Sunday to bless the cyclists of the Giro d’Italia’s final stage. Clad in a custom-made papal cycling jersey, complete with a gold cross emblazoned on the back, the pontiff declared, “May your tires be ever inflated and your spandex ever forgiving!”
The event, dubbed “Holy Rollers,” attracted a motley crew of cyclists, including reigning champion Egan Bernal and local favorite, Father Giuseppe “The Speedster” Rossi, who reportedly trained for the event by racing the Pope’s golf cart around St. Peter’s Square. “I’ve never felt so blessed,” said Bernal, still trying to figure out how to fit a rosary into his aerodynamic helmet. “I mean, who else can say they’ve been blessed by the Holy See? I just hope it helps with my uphill climbs!”
As the cyclists lined up for the blessing, Pope Leo XIV waved his hand dramatically, showering them with holy water from a specially designed spray bottle. “This is not just any water,” he proclaimed. “It’s infused with the essence of the Holy Spirit and a hint of lemon for that refreshing zest!”
The event took a turn for the comedic when the Pope accidentally blessed a nearby flock of pigeons, causing them to take flight in a chaotic flurry. “I thought they were my disciples!” he exclaimed, as feathers rained down like confetti. “But I guess they were just here for the carbs!”
As the cyclists sped off into the sunset, Leo XIV shouted, “Remember, my children, if you can’t win, at least look fabulous in your Lycra!” The event concluded with a pasta feast, where the Pope reportedly declared, “Carbs are the true body of Christ!”
In a post-event interview, Father Rossi quipped, “I’m just glad I didn’t have to confess my sins before the race. I mean, who wants to admit they’ve been skipping leg day?”
With the Giro d’Italia now officially blessed, the cycling world eagerly awaits the next papal intervention—perhaps a holy triathlon? Only time will tell!
