**Pentagon Launches ‘Top Secret’ Review of 2021 Afghanistan Withdrawal After Hegseth’s ‘Urgent’ Request**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation scratching its collective head, the Pentagon has announced an in-depth review of the “catastrophic” 2021 Afghanistan withdrawal, all thanks to a heartfelt letter from Fox News host Pete Hegseth. Sources say Hegseth, who is known for his deep insights and even deeper love for camouflage, sent a handwritten note that simply read, “Can we please talk about that thing that happened? You know, the one with the planes and the chaos? Thanks, Pete.”
Pentagon spokesperson Major General Chuckle McLaughlin stated, “We were just about to start our annual review of the best ways to make spaghetti in a combat zone, but Hegseth’s letter really struck a chord. We realized we had to prioritize this ‘catastrophe’ he mentioned. I mean, who doesn’t love a good catastrophe?”
The review will reportedly include a series of focus groups featuring military experts, political analysts, and a few confused cats who were accidentally invited. “We’re calling it ‘Operation Feline Focus,’” McLaughlin added. “Cats are great at assessing chaos. Just look at how they handle a laser pointer.”
In a bizarre twist, Hegseth has also suggested that the Pentagon consult with his neighbor’s parrot, who he claims has “seen some things.” The parrot, named Captain Squawk, was unavailable for comment but is rumored to have a strong opinion on military strategy.
As the Pentagon gears up for this unprecedented review, one thing is clear: if there’s one thing America loves more than a good military operation, it’s a good laugh. And if Hegseth’s request leads to a blockbuster documentary titled “Cats, Chaos, and Combat,” we’ll all be tuning in.
