**Paige Spiranac Reveals the ‘Slowest Golfer’ She’s Ever Played With: A Tale of Time Stopping on the Fairway**
In a shocking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the golfing community, social media sensation and professional golfer Paige Spiranac has unveiled the identity of the slowest golfer she’s ever played with. Spoiler alert: it’s not your average weekend warrior, but rather the legendary “Turtle Tim,” a mythical figure known for taking longer to swing than it takes to watch a full season of “The Office.”
“I thought I was going to have to call the National Guard,” Spiranac quipped during a recent Instagram Live session. “I mean, I’ve seen glaciers move faster than this guy. At one point, I considered starting a book club while waiting for him to putt.”
According to sources, Turtle Tim, who claims to have once played a round with a sloth, took an astonishing 45 minutes to line up a single putt. “I was just trying to get my alignment right,” Tim explained, “and then I realized I was standing on the wrong green. But hey, at least I got my steps in!”
Golfing legend Phil Mickelson chimed in, stating, “I’ve played with some slow guys, but Turtle Tim takes the cake. I once saw him take a break to meditate between swings. I thought I was going to have to send a search party!”
As for Spiranac, she’s now considering a new golf accessory: a portable hammock for those long waits. “I might as well get comfortable,” she laughed. “At this rate, I’ll need a snack and a nap before he finishes the front nine!”
In a world where time is money, Turtle Tim is apparently just taking his sweet time—one swing at a time. And as for Paige? She’s just grateful for the extra time to work on her Instagram selfies.
