CEO Announces Record Profits While Promising to Cut Employee Benefits for ‘Efficiency’

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U.N. Declares New Global Crisis: Lack of Consensus on How to Solve Anything

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Mayor Declares Official Holiday for People Who Don’t Like to Talk to Strangers

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High School Football Team Reveals Secret to Winning: ‘Just Tell Them They’re Going to the NFL’

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HR Department Finally Admits, ‘We Don’t Actually Know What We Do Here’

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Russia and Ukraine Agree on Peace Talks: 3-Way Boxing Match Between Jake Paul, Vladimir Putin, and Volodymyr Zelenskyy To Be Streamed Live on Netflix

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The 5 Hottest Gifts on Black Friday: A Complete Guide for the Thrill-Seeking Shopper

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The Top 5 Box Office Sensations This Week: Pure Cinematic Gold (with a Side of Disaster)

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GM To Relocate Factories to Deep South – Cage Fight Will Determine Exact Location

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Biden Set To Be First US President To Open Presidential Ice Cream Parlor

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Mississippians and West Virginians Among Rank for First Place in Number Of Elf Replacements During Elf Union Strike

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Letter to the Editor: Toxic Maculinity Is Coming Back

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