**Outrage Erupts as Ohio Judge Frees Suspect in Series of Cleveland Assaults: “He’s Just a Misunderstood Hugger!” Claims Defense Attorney**
CLEVELAND, OH – In a shocking turn of events that has left the city reeling, a local judge has decided to release a suspect in a series of Cleveland assaults, citing “a lack of evidence” and the defendant’s “overwhelming desire to spread joy.” The suspect, known only as “Huggy Bear” (not to be confused with the beloved children’s character), was apprehended after a string of incidents involving unsolicited bear hugs and an alarming number of “accidental” tickle attacks.
Judge Judy “Not That One” McGuffin defended her decision, stating, “We live in a world where everyone is too quick to judge. Maybe he just wanted to share the love! Besides, who doesn’t enjoy a good tickle now and then?”
Local resident and self-proclaimed “Tickle Survivor,” Bob “I Can’t Breathe” Thompson, expressed his disbelief: “I was just minding my own business when this guy came up and squeezed me like a tube of toothpaste! I thought I was going to pass out from laughter! But seriously, I’m still recovering.”
Huggy Bear’s defense attorney, Lila “The Hugger” McSnuggle, added, “My client is simply a misunderstood individual. He’s not a criminal; he’s a ‘hugginal’ artist! He just wants to make the world a softer place, one unsolicited embrace at a time.”
In response to the judge’s ruling, local citizens have taken to social media, launching the hashtag #FreeHuggyBear, while others have started a petition demanding that all future courtrooms be equipped with “Hug Zones” to promote peace and understanding.
As the city grapples with this unprecedented legal decision, one thing is clear: Cleveland is in for a wild ride, and it’s going to be a bumpy, ticklish one!
