**Orioles GM Elias Reflects on Team’s Decline Three Days Post-Manager Firing: “We’re Just One Good Hot Dog Away from a Comeback!”**
In a stunning display of optimism, Baltimore Orioles General Manager Mike Elias held a press conference today to discuss the team’s rapid decline just three days after the firing of manager Buck “I’m Not a Buckeye” Showalter. “Look, we’re not saying we’re in a downward spiral,” Elias said, adjusting his Orioles cap, “but if we were a roller coaster, we’d be the one that’s stuck upside down, and the safety bar is broken.”
Elias, who has been known to make bold predictions—like his claim that the team would win the World Series in 2025, “if we can just find a way to convince the players that baseball is actually a game of dodgeball”—seemed unfazed by the team’s current 0-12 record since Showalter’s departure. “We’re just one good hot dog away from a comeback!” he exclaimed, referencing the team’s new partnership with a local hot dog vendor. “I mean, have you tried the ‘Orioles Dog’? It’s got mustard, relish, and a sprinkle of hope!”
When asked about the team’s strategy moving forward, Elias revealed, “We’re considering a new approach: instead of focusing on winning, we’re going to focus on making the best TikTok dances. If we can’t win games, at least we can go viral!”
As the press conference wrapped up, Elias concluded with a heartfelt message to the fans: “Remember, folks, every great team has its ups and downs. Ours just happens to be a little more like a roller coaster that’s lost its brakes. But hey, at least we’re entertaining!”
With the Orioles’ future looking as bright as a foggy day in Baltimore, fans are left wondering if the team will ever find its way back to the top—or if they’ll just keep spiraling downwards, one hot dog at a time.
