**One Rescued, Search Ongoing for Three Missing After Boat Sinks North of Seattle: Local Fishermen Blame “Overzealous Seagulls”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the Pacific Northwest reeling, a boat sank north of Seattle, leading to one miraculous rescue and three unfortunate disappearances. Local authorities are currently searching for the missing trio, who were last seen arguing over the best way to cook a salmon.
The lone survivor, identified as Bob “The Fish Whisperer” Johnson, was found clinging to a life jacket and a half-eaten tuna sandwich. “I thought I was going to die,” he said, “but then I remembered I had a sandwich. I mean, priorities, right?”
As the search continues, local fishermen have taken to social media to voice their theories. “It’s definitely the seagulls,” claimed local fisherman and self-proclaimed marine biologist, Larry “Gullible” McGee. “They’ve been getting way too aggressive lately. I swear I saw one trying to commandeer a kayak last week!”
Meanwhile, the families of the missing men, who were last seen wearing matching Hawaiian shirts, have taken to the airwaves to plead for their safe return. “We just want them back,” said Karen “The Concerned Wife” Thompson. “And if they could bring back some fresh fish, that would be great too. I’m running out of ideas for dinner!”
As the search continues, authorities are urging anyone with information to come forward. “If you see three guys in Hawaiian shirts, please let us know,” said Coast Guard spokesperson, Captain “Not-So-Salty” Sam. “We’re pretty sure they’re not just on a spontaneous vacation to Hawaii.”
In the meantime, the local seagull community has issued a statement denying any involvement in the incident. “We’re just here for the fish,” said a spokesperson for the Seattle Seagull Union. “And maybe a sandwich or two.”
Stay tuned for updates as this story develops, and remember: if you’re going to take a boat out, leave the seagulls at home!