**Oklahoma Tops Nebraska 7-4 in Chapel Hill Regional as Malachi Witherspoon Struggles with Six Scoreless Innings**
In a game that can only be described as a masterclass in confusion, the Oklahoma Sooners triumphed over the Nebraska Cornhuskers 7-4 in the Chapel Hill Regional, leaving fans wondering if they were watching baseball or a particularly intense episode of “Survivor: Dugout Edition.”
The star of the show, Malachi Witherspoon, pitched six scoreless innings, which sounds impressive until you realize that he also managed to walk more batters than a confused toddler at a petting zoo. “I thought I was playing dodgeball,” Witherspoon said, visibly shaken. “I just wanted to avoid getting hit!”
Oklahoma’s offense was fueled by a series of bizarre plays, including a home run that was so high it almost hit the International Space Station. “I was just trying to impress my grandma,” said Sooners’ outfielder Chuck “The Rocket” McGee, who later revealed that his grandma is actually a cat named Whiskers. “She’s a tough critic.”
Meanwhile, Nebraska’s coach, Bob “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” Thompson, was left scratching his head. “We had a game plan, but it seems like the players thought we were playing chess instead of baseball,” he lamented. “I mean, who brings a knight to a baseball game?”
As the dust settled and the scoreboard flickered, fans were left with one burning question: “Did we just witness a baseball game or a circus act?” In the end, the Sooners celebrated their victory with a dance-off that would make even the most seasoned TikTok stars blush.
In a post-game interview, Witherspoon concluded, “Next time, I’m bringing a piñata. At least then, I’ll know what I’m swinging at!”
