**Ohio Attorney Denies Charges in 2013 Client’s Fatal Stabbing Case: Claims “It Was Just a Really Intense Game of Rock-Paper-Scissors”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the legal community scratching their heads and the public rolling on the floor, Ohio attorney Chuck “The Defender” McGee has denied all charges related to the fatal stabbing of his client, Gary “The Giraffe” Johnson, back in 2013. McGee insists that the incident was merely a misunderstanding stemming from an overly competitive game of rock-paper-scissors.
“Look, it was a heated match,” McGee stated, adjusting his oversized glasses and sipping a suspiciously green smoothie. “Gary was a fierce competitor. When he threw out ‘rock’ and I countered with ‘scissors,’ he just lost it. I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s a matter of pride!”
Witnesses claim that the game escalated quickly, with Johnson allegedly shouting, “You’ll pay for this betrayal!” before lunging at McGee with a kitchen knife. “I thought he was just really into the role-playing aspect of the game,” McGee added, shrugging. “I mean, who doesn’t love a good plot twist?”
Local authorities were baffled by McGee’s defense strategy, with one officer commenting, “I’ve seen some wild excuses in my time, but claiming a fatal stabbing was just a game? That’s a new one. Next, he’ll say it was a performance art piece.”
In a bizarre twist, McGee has since launched a new legal service called “Rock-Paper-Law,” promising clients that they can settle disputes without any actual violence—unless, of course, they lose. “We’re all about keeping it fun and friendly,” he said, winking. “And if things get out of hand, well, that’s just part of the game!”
As the case unfolds, one thing is clear: Ohio’s legal system has never been more entertaining. Stay tuned for updates, and remember folks, when in doubt, always throw paper.
