**NYC US Attorney Staff Allegedly Sabotaged Trump’s Attempt to Eliminate Driving Tax, Says Watchdog**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation scratching its collective head, a watchdog group has accused the NYC US Attorney staff of orchestrating a covert operation to sabotage former President Donald Trump’s ambitious plan to eliminate the driving tax. Yes, folks, you heard it right—because nothing screams “freedom” like driving without the burden of taxes, unless you’re a New Yorker, in which case, you’re just trying to avoid potholes the size of small swimming pools.
According to the watchdog, which goes by the name “Citizens for the Preservation of Unnecessary Taxes” (CPUT), the US Attorney’s office allegedly deployed a team of “tax ninjas” to undermine Trump’s efforts. “We have evidence that they replaced his tax elimination proposal with a plan to tax the air we breathe,” claimed CPUT spokesperson, Larry “The Taxman” McGee. “I mean, who needs clean air when you can have a tax on it?”
Sources close to the investigation revealed that the sabotage included sending Trump a bouquet of tax forms disguised as flowers. “He thought they were roses, but they were actually 1040s,” said an anonymous source who claimed to be a former intern at the US Attorney’s office. “He was so confused, he tried to water them.”
In a statement, Trump responded, “This is a witch hunt! I was just trying to help Americans drive without paying for the privilege. Next, they’ll be taxing our ability to breathe while driving!” He then added, “I’m going to build a wall around the IRS. They’ll never see it coming!”
Meanwhile, NYC Mayor Eric Adams was spotted driving around the city in a clown car, claiming it was the only vehicle that could escape the driving tax. “If I can’t eliminate the tax, I’ll just eliminate the car!” he quipped, while juggling tax forms and traffic cones.
As the saga unfolds, one thing is clear: in the battle between taxes and driving, the only real winner is the pothole repair industry. Stay tuned for more updates as this story develops—preferably while you’re stuck in traffic!
