**NFL Owners Vote on Tush Push Ban with Jason Kelce Present: A Hilarious Showdown of Power and Plungers**
In a historic meeting that will surely go down in the annals of football history—or at least the annals of mildly interesting meetings—NFL owners gathered this week to vote on the controversial “Tush Push” play, with Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce in attendance, presumably to provide moral support and a few well-timed butt jokes.
The Tush Push, a play where players literally shove their quarterback forward like a group of friends trying to get a couch through a narrow doorway, has sparked heated debates across the league. “It’s like watching a bunch of toddlers trying to move a giant cookie jar,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, who was seen munching on a cookie during the meeting. “We need to decide if we want to keep this play or just let teams play patty-cake instead.”
Kelce, who arrived wearing a shirt that read “Tush Push Enthusiast,” was quick to defend the play. “If we ban the Tush Push, what’s next? Banning the forward pass? I mean, come on! This is football, not a tea party!” he exclaimed, while simultaneously demonstrating the move on a bewildered intern.
The vote was surprisingly close, with some owners arguing that the Tush Push is a “disgrace to the game,” while others claimed it’s just a “really effective way to get a first down.” Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, reportedly shouted, “If we ban the Tush Push, I’ll just have to start a new league called the ‘Tush Push League’ where we only do that play!”
In the end, the owners decided to table the vote until next week, citing the need for further research, which they defined as “watching more TikTok videos of people falling over while trying to do the Tush Push.”
As the meeting adjourned, Kelce was overheard saying, “If they ban it, I’m going to start a Tush Push support group. We’ll meet every Tuesday and just push each other emotionally.”
And so, the saga continues. Will the Tush Push be banned? Will Jason Kelce start a new trend in emotional support? Only time—and perhaps a few more cookie-fueled meetings—will tell.
