**NFL Owners Reject Proposal to Ban Tush Push Play: “It’s Just Too Much Fun!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left fans and players alike scratching their heads, NFL owners have unanimously rejected a proposal to ban the infamous “Tush Push” play. The decision came during a heated meeting where owners reportedly argued over the merits of the play while simultaneously trying to figure out how to make their nachos more profitable.
“We just can’t let go of the Tush Push,” said Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, while adjusting his oversized cowboy hat. “It’s like trying to ban the nacho cheese at a football game. You just don’t do it! Plus, have you seen how much fun it is to watch a bunch of guys shove each other around? It’s like a family reunion, but with more helmets and fewer awkward conversations about politics.”
Meanwhile, Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, chimed in, “If we ban the Tush Push, what’s next? Banning the two-point conversion? I mean, come on! This is America! We can’t let the French win by taking away our right to push!”
The proposal was initially brought forth by a group of owners who claimed the play was “too effective” and “not enough like a game of chess.” However, the idea was swiftly dismissed when it was revealed that one of the owners, who wished to remain anonymous, had once tried to play chess with a football and ended up with a broken coffee table.
In a last-ditch effort to save the proposal, a group of disgruntled fans held a protest outside the NFL headquarters, waving signs that read, “Tush Push is Love!” and “Stop the Shove!” However, their cries fell on deaf ears as the owners celebrated their decision with a buffet of chicken wings and a game of “Who Can Shove the Most Nachos in Their Mouth at Once.”
As the dust settles on this controversial decision, one thing is clear: the Tush Push is here to stay, and so are the nachos. In the words of one enthusiastic fan, “If I wanted to watch a game without the Tush Push, I’d just go to my in-laws’ house!”
