**New Orleans Hosts “Bone-anza” Festival to Celebrate Repatriated Remains Used in Racist Research**
In a move that has left historians scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, New Orleans has announced a new annual festival: the “Bone-anza.” This quirky celebration aims to commemorate the repatriated African American remains that were once used in dubious scientific research, because nothing says “we’re sorry” quite like a festival with a catchy name and a lot of jazz.
Mayor LaToya Cantrell kicked off the festivities with a heartfelt speech, stating, “We’re turning a grave situation into a grave celebration! Let’s honor those who were treated like lab rats by throwing them a party they’ll never forget—oh wait, they can’t remember!” The crowd erupted in laughter, or perhaps it was just the sound of bones rattling in the nearby cemetery.
The festival featured a variety of activities, including “Bone Tossing,” where participants hurled replica skulls into a giant cauldron labeled “Racist Research.” Local artist and self-proclaimed “Bone-ologist” Chuck “The Skull” McGee unveiled his latest installation: a giant sculpture made entirely of repurposed dental floss and chicken bones, titled “Flossing Through History.”
Attendees were also treated to a special performance by the “Jazz Hands” band, who played a medley of tunes like “When the Saints Go Marching In (But Not Without Consent)” and “I Will Survive (But Not in a Lab).”
“I think it’s great that we’re finally addressing this issue with humor,” said local historian and part-time fortune teller, Madame Zora. “After all, laughter is the best medicine—unless you’re a skeleton, in which case, you might want to stick to calcium.”
As the sun set over the Mississippi, festival-goers danced the night away, raising their glasses in a toast to the past. “Here’s to the bones that brought us together!” shouted one reveler, who may or may not have been a ghost.
So, if you find yourself in New Orleans next year, don’t miss the Bone-anza Festival. Just remember to keep your skeletons in the closet—unless they’re ready to party!
