**New Mugshot of Boulder Terror Attack Suspect Mohamed Sabry Soliman Released: A Face Only a Mother Could Love**
In a shocking turn of events, the Boulder Police Department has released a new mugshot of terror attack suspect Mohamed Sabry Soliman, and let’s just say, it’s a face that could launch a thousand memes. The photo, which has already gone viral, features Soliman looking like he just lost a game of poker to a raccoon.
Local resident and self-proclaimed “mugshot aficionado,” Betty “The Brows” Thompson, commented, “I’ve seen better faces on a potato! If he were any more confused, he’d be a GPS trying to find a Starbucks in the middle of the Sahara.”
In an exclusive interview with the suspect’s neighbor, Bob “The Conspiracy Theorist” Johnson, we learned that Soliman was known for his “unique” hobbies. “He once tried to train squirrels to deliver his mail. I mean, who does that? But I guess that’s what happens when you spend too much time watching YouTube tutorials,” Johnson said while adjusting his tinfoil hat.
Meanwhile, Boulder’s mayor, who wished to remain anonymous but insisted on being called “Mayor McCheese,” stated, “We take these matters seriously. But honestly, if this guy were any more of a cliché, he’d be a character in a bad sitcom. I half-expect him to start selling ‘I Survived the Boulder Mugshot’ T-shirts.”
As the investigation continues, one thing is clear: Soliman’s new mugshot has united the community in laughter, proving that sometimes, humor is the best defense against terror—especially when it comes with a side of potato-faced memes.
