**New Intelligence Report Uncovers Ongoing Activity in Iran’s Nuclear Weapons Program: Experts Recommend More Cake**
In a shocking turn of events, a new intelligence report has revealed that Iran’s nuclear weapons program is still very much alive and kicking—much like your Uncle Larry after three helpings of Thanksgiving dinner. The report, which was leaked by a source who wishes to remain anonymous (let’s call him “Bob the Builder”), suggests that Iran has been busy in their underground facilities, possibly building a nuclear bomb or, more likely, a really elaborate cake.
“Honestly, we thought they were just baking,” said Dr. Ima Kidding, a leading expert in nuclear pastry arts. “But it turns out they’ve been mixing flour with uranium. I mean, who knew? I just hope they don’t try to frost it with plutonium.”
The report also indicated that Iran has been experimenting with various flavors for their nuclear cake, including “Chocolate of Doom” and “Vanilla Catastrophe.” “We’re just trying to keep things interesting,” said a spokesperson for the Iranian government, who insisted on being called “The Great Baker.” “Nuclear weapons are so last season. We’re all about the culinary arts now.”
Meanwhile, U.S. officials are scrambling to respond. “We’re considering a diplomatic approach,” said Secretary of State Blinken, “but we might just send them a cake of our own. You know, a peace offering. Maybe a nice red velvet with a side of sanctions.”
As tensions rise, one thing is clear: if Iran’s nuclear ambitions don’t pan out, they might just have a future in the baking industry. After all, who wouldn’t want a slice of “Doom Cake” at their next birthday party?
