**New Hampshire Governor Denies Hearing for Pamela Smart, Claims “She’s Just Too Smart for Us”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the Granite State scratching its collective head, New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu has officially denied Pamela Smart’s request for a hearing regarding her life sentence for the 1990 murder of her husband, Gregg Smart. The Governor, who is apparently more concerned about the state’s reputation than a potential prison break, stated, “Pamela is just too smart for us. I mean, have you seen her hair? It’s like a high-security fortress!”
Pamela Smart, who has been serving her time since the early ’90s, is often described as a “mastermind” in the world of crime, which is ironic considering her hairdo looks like it was styled by a raccoon on a caffeine high. “We can’t risk letting her out,” Sununu continued. “What if she starts a hair salon? The last thing we need is a bunch of inmates walking around with fabulous haircuts!”
Local resident and self-proclaimed “Pamela Superfan,” Bob “The Hair Whisperer” McGee, expressed his disappointment. “I was really hoping she’d get out so we could finally have a reality show: ‘Real Housewives of the Penitentiary.’ I mean, who wouldn’t want to see that?”
In a bizarre twist, Sununu also mentioned that he consulted with a psychic named Madame Zoltar, who warned him, “If you let her out, she’ll start a revolution with nothing but a can of hairspray and a dream.”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: New Hampshire is not ready for Pamela Smart’s return. Or her hair.
