**New Book Reveals Biden Comms Staffer’s Role in Concealing President’s Cognitive Decline**
In a shocking exposé that has left the nation both amused and bewildered, a new book titled *“Biden’s Brain: The Great Cognitive Cover-Up”* has hit the shelves, revealing the lengths to which the White House communications team has gone to conceal President Biden’s alleged cognitive decline. According to the book, the staffers have been using a combination of smoke and mirrors, along with a healthy dose of “creative editing,” to keep the President’s gaffes under wraps.
The author, investigative journalist and part-time magician, Chuck “The Illusionist” McGee, claims that Biden’s comms team has been employing a secret code language to interpret the President’s more “colorful” remarks. “When he says ‘Let’s build a bridge to the moon,’ we just translate that to ‘Let’s work on infrastructure,’” McGee explained. “It’s all about perception!”
One anonymous staffer, who goes by the pseudonym “Cognitive Ninja,” revealed, “We’ve had to create a whole new dictionary. ‘Bidenese’ is now a recognized dialect. For example, when he says ‘I’m going to take a nap,’ it really means ‘I’m about to make a groundbreaking policy decision.’”
The book also details a hilarious incident where Biden accidentally referred to Vice President Kamala Harris as “the lady with the nice shoes.” According to the staffer, “We just told the press he was complimenting her fashion sense. It was a win-win!”
In a particularly revealing chapter, McGee recounts how the team once replaced Biden’s teleprompter with a karaoke machine to keep him entertained during a press conference. “He started singing ‘I Will Survive’ and the reporters loved it! We just told them it was a metaphor for resilience,” said another staffer, who wished to remain anonymous but was definitely not named “Bob.”
As the book continues to climb the bestseller list, one thing is clear: the Biden administration may be facing a cognitive crisis, but at least they’ve got a great sense of humor about it. As McGee puts it, “In politics, if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with Biden!”
