**Nations Unite in France to Address UN-Declared Global Emergency: Croissants and Compromise on the Agenda**
In a historic gathering that can only be described as the most important meeting since the invention of the croissant, world leaders have convened in France to address the UN-declared global emergency: the alarming rise of “extreme avocado toast inflation.” The summit, dubbed “Toastapalooza,” aims to unite nations in a quest for affordable brunch options.
French President Emmanuel Macron kicked off the event with a rousing speech, declaring, “We must unite against this crisis! If we can’t afford our brunch, what’s next? A world without mimosas? Sacré bleu!” The crowd erupted in applause, though some attendees were distracted by the aroma of freshly baked pastries wafting through the air.
Among the notable attendees was U.S. President Joe Biden, who, in a moment of confusion, mistook the summit for a “Bacon and Eggs Conference.” “I thought we were here to discuss breakfast options,” he quipped, as he accidentally spilled coffee on the French flag. “Oops! Sorry, I thought it was a tablecloth!”
Meanwhile, British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak proposed a radical solution: “Let’s just put avocado toast on the British menu and call it a day. If we can survive the last decade of soggy biscuits, we can survive anything!”
In a surprising twist, the summit also featured a surprise guest appearance by celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, who stormed the stage shouting, “If you can’t afford avocado toast, you’re doing it wrong! Just add more butter!” His passionate plea for butter-based diplomacy left many delegates questioning their life choices.
As the summit concluded, leaders agreed to form a new coalition: the Global Alliance for Affordable Brunch (GAAB). Their first order of business? A worldwide ban on brunch menus that don’t include at least three types of eggs.
As nations left the summit, one thing was clear: when it comes to global emergencies, nothing unites the world quite like the fear of overpriced brunch.
