**Music Executive Dave Shapiro, 42, Tragically Killed in San Diego Plane Crash: A Loss for the Industry and the Snack Aisle**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the music industry reeling, Dave Shapiro, 42, a music executive known for his uncanny ability to turn mediocre pop songs into chart-topping hits, was tragically killed in a plane crash over San Diego. Witnesses report that the plane was last seen attempting to perform a mid-air remix of “Baby Shark” before plummeting into the Pacific Ocean.
“Dave always said he wanted to go out with a bang, but I think he meant a different kind of bang,” said his long-time friend and fellow executive, Linda “The Beat” Thompson. “He was a visionary, a genius, and a guy who once tried to pitch a country album featuring only cat sounds. We’re going to miss him dearly.”
Shapiro’s last tweet, sent just moments before the crash, read, “If I can’t make it to the top of the charts, at least I’ll make it to the top of the sky!” His followers are now left wondering if he was aiming for a new genre: “Aerial Pop.”
In a bizarre twist, the crash site has become a makeshift memorial where fans have begun leaving mixtapes and bags of Doritos, Shapiro’s favorite snack. “He always said that music and snacks were the two greatest joys in life,” said aspiring artist and self-proclaimed “Snack DJ” Benny Crumbs. “Now we’re just left with the snacks.”
As the music world mourns, industry insiders are already speculating about who will take over Shapiro’s role. “I hear they’re considering a hologram of Dave to run the label,” said music analyst and part-time fortune teller, Crystal Clear. “If anyone can make a comeback from the afterlife, it’s him.”
In the meantime, fans are encouraged to remember Shapiro not just for his contributions to music, but also for his legendary karaoke nights, where he once performed a 12-minute rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody” while simultaneously juggling three flaming guitars.
Rest in peace, Dave. May your playlists be eternal and your snacks never run out.
