**Montmartre’s New Climb: A Controversial Game Changer for the Tour de France**
In a shocking twist that has left cyclists and couch potatoes alike scratching their heads, the Tour de France has announced a new climb that will take competitors straight up the steep, cobblestone streets of Montmartre. Yes, you heard it right—those picturesque, Instagram-worthy hills that have been the backdrop for countless artists and tourists are now the ultimate test of endurance for the world’s best cyclists.
“Why ride through the French countryside when you can dodge tourists and street performers?” exclaimed Tour de France director, Jean-Claude “I’m Not Crazy, You Are” Dupont. “We wanted to add a little flair to the race. Plus, nothing says ‘I love cycling’ like a good old-fashioned uphill battle against a mime.”
The new route, dubbed “The Montmartre Madness,” features a grueling ascent that includes a detour through a local café where cyclists will be required to down a croissant and espresso before continuing. “It’s all about the carbs!” said reigning champion, Pierre “I Only Train with Baguettes” Leclerc. “If I can conquer the hill and the pastry, I’m basically a French superhero.”
Critics, however, are not amused. “This is a blatant attempt to turn cycling into a circus,” grumbled local artist, Claude “I Paint with My Tears” Monet. “Next, they’ll have cyclists juggling while riding. It’s absurd!”
In a surprising twist, the event has already attracted a new demographic: tourists who have never seen a bike race but are eager to witness the chaos. “I just came for the selfies,” said American tourist, Karen “I Want to Speak to the Manager” Johnson. “But if I can catch a cyclist falling into a fountain, that’s a bonus!”
As the date approaches, the world waits with bated breath (and a side of French fries) to see if Montmartre’s new climb will be a triumph or a total disaster. Either way, one thing is for sure: it’s going to be a ride to remember!
