**Microsoft Teams EU Antitrust Case Approaches Conclusion: A Comedy of Errors**
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by a team of caffeinated screenwriters, the European Union’s antitrust case against Microsoft Teams is finally approaching its conclusion. After years of legal wrangling, the EU has decided to wrap things up faster than a Zoom call when the Wi-Fi drops.
Sources close to the case, who wish to remain anonymous but are definitely not just my neighbor’s cat, report that Microsoft has offered the EU a lifetime supply of Windows updates in exchange for a favorable ruling. “We’re just trying to make things easier for everyone,” said a Microsoft spokesperson, who was definitely not wearing a T-shirt that read “I love Teams.” “Besides, who doesn’t want to spend their weekends installing updates?”
Meanwhile, EU officials have been spotted in a series of increasingly bizarre team-building exercises to prepare for the verdict. “We’ve been practicing our ‘trust falls’ and ‘trust falls into a pit of legal jargon,’” said EU Commissioner Margot von Spreadsheet. “It’s all about building trust, you know?”
In a shocking turn of events, a group of disgruntled Teams users has formed a support group called “Teams Anonymous.” “We meet every Thursday to discuss our trauma,” said group leader Bob “I Can’t Find the Mute Button” Johnson. “Last week, someone accidentally shared their screen and we all saw their cat memes. It was a dark day.”
As the case nears its conclusion, analysts predict that Microsoft will either be fined a record amount or be forced to rename Teams to “Microsoft Friends” in a bid to make it more appealing. “We’re just trying to make collaboration fun again,” said a Microsoft intern who was definitely not being held against their will.
In the end, whether the EU decides to slap Microsoft with a hefty fine or just a sternly worded letter, one thing is for sure: the real winners here are the lawyers, who have been cashing in on this case like it’s Black Friday at a tech store. Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of “As the Teams Turns.”
