**Menendez Brothers’ Parole Hearing Postponed to August: A Family Reunion in Limbo**
In a shocking twist that has left the world scratching its collective head, the parole hearing for the infamous Menendez brothers has been postponed until August. The brothers, who are currently serving life sentences for the 1989 murders of their parents, were reportedly “too busy” to attend their own hearing.
“We just couldn’t fit it into our schedules,” said Lyle Menendez, who was last seen perfecting his TikTok dance moves in the prison yard. “I mean, have you seen the new trends? I can’t just let my followers down!”
Erik Menendez chimed in, “Honestly, we were hoping to get a little more time to work on our family therapy sessions. You know, the ones where we discuss how to cope with the fact that our parents were, like, totally not cool.”
The postponement has sparked a wave of reactions from the public. “I was really looking forward to seeing them walk free,” said local conspiracy theorist and amateur magician, Bob “The Great” McFizzle. “I mean, if they can pull off a double homicide, surely they can pull off a disappearing act!”
Meanwhile, the brothers’ attorney, who goes by the name of “Lawyer McLawface,” stated, “We’re just trying to make sure they’re ready for the big day. I mean, have you seen their prison outfits? They need a serious makeover before they hit the streets!”
As the world waits with bated breath for August, one thing is clear: the Menendez brothers are not just masters of courtroom drama; they’re also the reigning champions of procrastination. Stay tuned for updates, and remember, if you can’t do the time, at least make sure you can do the dance!
