**McChrystal Critiques Pentagon’s Distraction with Anti-DEI and ‘Biceps’ Focus**
In a shocking turn of events, retired General Stanley McChrystal has taken to the airwaves to critique the Pentagon’s recent obsession with anti-Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives and its newfound fixation on biceps. Yes, you read that right—biceps. Apparently, the military has decided that the best way to prepare for global threats is to ensure that every soldier can bench press a small car while reciting the Preamble to the Constitution.
“Instead of focusing on strategic military operations, we’re now debating whether a soldier’s biceps should be included in their performance reviews,” McChrystal quipped during a recent interview with the satirical news outlet, *The Daily Chuckle*. “I mean, what’s next? A mandatory ‘Flex Friday’ where troops show off their gains?”
Sources close to the Pentagon revealed that a new initiative, dubbed “Operation: Guns and Grit,” aims to replace traditional training with a series of bicep curls and motivational speeches from Arnold Schwarzenegger. “We believe that if our soldiers can’t lift their own body weight, how can they lift the weight of freedom?” said Colonel Buff McMuscle, head of the initiative.
Critics have pointed out that while the military is busy flexing, real issues like global warming and cyber warfare are being left on the back burner. “I’d rather have a soldier who can code than one who can curl,” said Dr. Nerdy McTechface, a cybersecurity expert. “But hey, if they can do both while looking good in a tank top, I’m all for it!”
In a final twist, McChrystal suggested that the Pentagon should consider a new recruitment slogan: “Join the Army—Where Your Biceps Can Save the World!” As the military continues to pump iron, one can only hope they don’t forget to pump some brains along the way.
