**Manhunt Underway for Serial Killer and Escape Artist Following New Orleans Jailbreak**
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by a caffeine-fueled screenwriter, New Orleans is currently on high alert following the audacious jailbreak of notorious serial killer and part-time escape artist, “Slippery” Sam McGee. Authorities are scrambling to locate McGee, who reportedly slipped out of the Orleans Justice Center while dressed as a giant crawfish.
“Honestly, we thought he was just a really committed street performer,” said Deputy Sheriff Lila “Not Today” Thompson. “I mean, who doesn’t love a good seafood show? But then he started doing the worm, and we knew something was fishy.”
Witnesses claim that McGee, who has been linked to at least three unsolved crimes and an unfortunate incident involving a missing pet iguana, was last seen hopping on a streetcar while shouting, “I’m off to find my true calling as a chef!”
Local residents are understandably concerned. “I just hope he doesn’t come after my gumbo recipe,” said local chef and self-proclaimed “Gumbo Guru” Jacques LeFrog. “I can’t have him stealing my secrets! I mean, I’m already missing my secret ingredient—love. And maybe a little bit of thyme.”
Authorities have enlisted the help of famed magician and part-time detective, Houdini McFool, who claims he can track down McGee using “the power of illusion.” “I’ll just make him think he’s still in jail,” McFool said, “and then poof! He’ll be back behind bars. Or at least in a really nice restaurant.”
As the manhunt continues, residents are advised to stay indoors, lock their doors, and for the love of all that is holy, keep their crawfish costumes to themselves. After all, you never know when a serial killer might be lurking just around the corner, ready to steal your heart—or your gumbo.
