**Man Avoids Jail After Attempting to Sell Stolen $6.4M Gold Toilet from English Estate: A Flush of Luck!**
In a plot twist that could only be described as “golden,” a man has narrowly avoided jail time after attempting to sell a stolen $6.4 million gold toilet, famously known as “America,” from the palatial Blenheim Palace in England. The toilet, which was reportedly “the most expensive piece of bathroom furniture in the world,” has left authorities scratching their heads and the public in stitches.
Local authorities apprehended 66-year-old Italian plumber, Giovanni “The Golden Plumber” Bolognese, who claimed he was merely “trying to help the toilet find its true calling.” In a statement that could only be described as a “flushing success,” Bolognese said, “I thought it was a piece of art! I mean, who wouldn’t want to sit on a throne made of gold? It’s like the ultimate bling for your bathroom!”
Bolognese was caught red-handed trying to sell the toilet on eBay, listing it under the category “Home & Garden” with the tagline: “Poo in style! Comes with a complimentary plunger!” When questioned about his motives, he replied, “I just wanted to make bathrooms great again!”
Despite the hefty price tag, the toilet was stolen in a heist that left the world baffled. “I’ve seen some crazy things in my career,” said Detective Inspector Nigel Wipe, “but this takes the cake—or should I say, the toilet? Who knew a bathroom fixture could be so… *flush* with cash?”
In a surprising turn of events, Bolognese was released without charges after promising to return the toilet to its rightful place. “I just wanted to give it a new home,” he said, “but I guess I’ll have to settle for my own porcelain throne for now.”
As for the toilet, it remains missing, but sources say it’s currently on a world tour, making stops at various celebrity homes. Rumor has it that it was last seen at a Kardashian party, where it was the star of the evening, receiving more selfies than Kim herself.
In the end, Bolognese’s escapade serves as a reminder that sometimes, when life gives you lemons, you just have to make lemonade—or in this case, a golden toilet!
