**Man Arrested for Providing Alcohol to Underage Pirates Fan Who Tumbled onto Field: Reports**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the city of Pittsburgh reeling, local man and self-proclaimed “Pirates Superfan” Chuck “The Keg” McGee was arrested for allegedly providing alcohol to an underage fan who took a tumble onto the field during last night’s game against the Cincinnati Reds. Witnesses say the young fan, identified only as “Lil’ Jolly Roger,” was last seen attempting to perform a backflip off the bleachers before landing face-first in the outfield grass.
“I thought he was just trying to show off his moves,” said fellow fan and part-time parrot impersonator, Sally “Squawk” Johnson. “But then I saw Chuck handing him a beer like it was a hot dog! I mean, who does that?”
According to police reports, McGee was seen shouting, “Drink up, matey! It’s a Pirates game!” as Lil’ Jolly Roger stumbled onto the field, arms flailing like a windmill in a hurricane. “I thought it was a new mascot!” said confused outfielder Bryan Reynolds. “I was just about to throw him a ball!”
When asked for comment, McGee defended his actions, claiming, “I was just trying to teach him the true spirit of being a Pirates fan. We drink to forget the last 20 years!”
Authorities were not amused. “This is a serious offense,” said Officer Tim “No Fun” Thompson. “We can’t have kids running around the field drunk. They might start thinking they can actually catch a fly ball!”
As for Lil’ Jolly Roger, he was last seen being escorted out of the stadium with a half-eaten hot dog in one hand and a foam finger in the other, mumbling something about “next time, I’ll stick to soda.”
McGee is currently awaiting trial, where he plans to argue that he was merely “preparing the next generation of Pirates fans for a life of disappointment.” The judge, however, is reportedly a Reds fan, so good luck with that defense, Chuck!
