**Major Rule Changes in California Girls’ Field Championship Amid Trans Athlete Controversy and Trump’s Influence**
In a shocking turn of events, the California Girls’ Field Championship has announced a series of major rule changes that have left athletes, parents, and even the squirrels in the park scratching their heads. The new regulations come in the wake of a heated controversy surrounding trans athletes, and, believe it or not, the ghost of Donald Trump has been cited as a key influencer in the decision-making process.
The championship’s new rules include mandatory glitter uniforms for all participants, a ban on any form of athleticism that doesn’t involve a TikTok dance, and a requirement that all athletes must recite the Pledge of Allegiance while balancing on one leg. “We wanted to make the competition more inclusive,” said championship spokesperson, Candy McFluff, “and what’s more inclusive than a dance-off?”
In a bizarre twist, the championship will also feature a new event: the “Trump Toss,” where competitors will hurl inflatable replicas of the former president as far as they can. “It’s a great way to channel your frustrations,” said local coach and part-time fortune teller, Crystal Ball. “Plus, it’s a lot more fun than running laps!”
Parents are divided on the changes. “I just want my daughter to win,” lamented one mom, who wished to remain anonymous but was wearing a shirt that read “Make Field Sports Great Again.” Meanwhile, another parent, who identified himself as “Coach Dad,” exclaimed, “If my daughter can’t throw a Trump, what’s the point of even competing?”
As the championship approaches, athletes are left to wonder if they’ll be competing for medals or just for the chance to be featured in a viral TikTok. One hopeful competitor, 16-year-old Sarah “The Gazelle” Thompson, summed it up perfectly: “I just want to run fast and not have to wear glitter. But if it means I can throw a Trump, I’m in!”
With the new rules set to take effect, one thing is for sure: the California Girls’ Field Championship will never be the same again. And who knows? Maybe next year they’ll add a “Best Hair” category, just to keep things interesting.
