**Mace Questions Congressional Stock Trading as Pelosi Stays Quiet: ‘Something’s Off’**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation scratching its collective head, Congresswoman Nancy Mace has bravely stepped into the murky waters of congressional stock trading, declaring, “Something’s off!” as she pointedly stared at a suspiciously well-timed stock chart of a company that makes inflatable pool toys.
Mace, who is known for her keen sense of timing (she once showed up to a Halloween party dressed as a tax loophole), took to Twitter to express her concerns. “If Congress can trade stocks, then I can trade my lunch for a lifetime supply of avocado toast, right?” she tweeted, before adding, “But seriously, why is Nancy Pelosi so quiet? Is she plotting world domination or just really into crossword puzzles?”
Meanwhile, Pelosi was spotted at a local café, sipping a pumpkin spice latte and flipping through a magazine titled “How to Keep Your Stock Portfolio Secret While Looking Fabulous.” When asked for comment, she simply raised an eyebrow and said, “I’m just here for the Wi-Fi.”
Political analysts are baffled. “It’s like watching a cat play chess,” said Dr. Chuckle McGiggles, a self-proclaimed expert in congressional shenanigans. “You know something’s happening, but you can’t quite figure out what it is. Is it strategy or just a really confused feline?”
As the stock market continues to fluctuate like a toddler on a sugar high, Mace is calling for transparency. “I want to know who’s buying what and when,” she declared, while simultaneously purchasing shares in a company that specializes in biodegradable glitter. “If I can’t trust my fellow Congress members, who can I trust? My cat? She’s been acting suspiciously lately.”
In the end, one thing is clear: whether it’s inflatable pool toys or avocado toast, the only thing that’s truly off is the sense of humor in Congress. And as for Pelosi? Well, she’s probably just waiting for the right moment to drop the ultimate stock tip: “Buy low, sell high, and always invest in your own mystery.”
