**Lufthansa Flight Operated for 10 Minutes Without Conscious Pilot, Investigation Uncovers**
In a shocking revelation that has left aviation experts scratching their heads and passengers wondering if they should have taken the train, a recent investigation has uncovered that a Lufthansa flight operated for a full ten minutes without a conscious pilot. Yes, you read that right—ten whole minutes of airborne autonomy, and no, it wasn’t a new feature of the airline’s “Fly-By-Yourself” program.
The incident occurred last Tuesday when Captain Klaus “I’ll Just Close My Eyes for a Minute” Müller reportedly dozed off mid-flight, leaving the aircraft to be piloted by a combination of autopilot and a particularly enthusiastic flight attendant named Brenda “I Can Totally Fly This Thing” Johnson. Witnesses claim that Brenda was last seen in the cockpit, attempting to navigate using a combination of Google Maps and a half-eaten bag of pretzels.
“I thought it was just turbulence,” said passenger Tim “I Should Have Taken the Train” Thompson. “But then I saw the flight attendant in the cockpit, and I was like, ‘Is this a new in-flight entertainment option?’”
The investigation revealed that the flight’s autopilot system was programmed to play “Eye of the Tiger” on repeat, which may have contributed to the pilot’s unexpected nap. “I mean, who can resist a good power ballad?” said aviation analyst Dr. Chuck “I’m Not a Pilot, But I Play One on TV” McFly. “It’s scientifically proven that the best way to stay awake is to listen to motivational music while flying a plane. Or, you know, not fall asleep at all.”
Lufthansa has since issued a statement assuring the public that they are taking the matter seriously. “We are committed to ensuring that our pilots remain conscious at all times,” said spokesperson Helga “We’re Not a Circus” Schmidt. “We are also considering mandatory coffee breaks every 30 minutes. And maybe a few dance-offs to keep everyone alert.”
As for Captain Müller, he has been placed on a strict regimen of espresso shots and motivational speeches from Tony Robbins. Meanwhile, Brenda Johnson has been promoted to Chief Flight Enthusiast, a title that comes with a complimentary set of wings and a lifetime supply of pretzels.
So, the next time you fly, just remember: if the pilot starts to snooze, you might just be in for the ride of your life—complete with a soundtrack and a flight attendant who’s ready to take the controls. Buckle up!
