**Louisiana Jail Employee Charged with Assisting 10 Inmates in Escape: “I Just Wanted to Help Them Live Their Best Lives!”**
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by a Hollywood screenwriter with a penchant for the absurd, a Louisiana jail employee has been charged with assisting ten inmates in a daring escape from the Orleans Parish facility. Authorities say that 32-year-old Marge “The Great Escape” Thompson, a corrections officer with a flair for the dramatic, allegedly provided the inmates with a detailed map, a getaway car, and a playlist of motivational escape songs, including “Born to Run” and “I Will Survive.”
“I thought I was just helping them find their true selves,” Thompson said in a statement, while wearing a T-shirt that read “Escape Artist Extraordinaire.” “I mean, who wouldn’t want to live their best life outside of a jail cell? I was basically their life coach!”
The inmates, who have since been dubbed the “Orleans 10,” reportedly used Thompson’s map, which was drawn on a napkin from the cafeteria, to navigate their way to freedom. “It was a little hard to read,” said inmate and aspiring cartographer, “Sketchy” Steve. “But we made it work. I mean, who knew the exit was right next to the vending machine?”
Local authorities were alerted to the escape when a neighbor reported seeing ten men in orange jumpsuits attempting to blend in at a nearby barbecue. “They were trying to act casual, but you could tell they were just really hungry,” said witness and amateur detective, Betty Lou. “I mean, who wears a jumpsuit to a cookout?”
As for Thompson, she remains defiant. “I just wanted to give them a chance at freedom,” she said, while practicing her stand-up routine for her upcoming trial. “I mean, if they can escape, why can’t I escape from my boring job?”
In a shocking twist, the Orleans Parish facility has announced plans to hire Thompson as their new “Escape Consultant,” citing her “unique skill set” as a valuable asset. “We’re just trying to think outside the bars,” said Warden Bill “The Architect” Johnson. “Besides, who doesn’t love a good escape story?”
As the saga unfolds, one thing is clear: in Louisiana, even jail breaks come with a side of humor and a dash of absurdity. Stay tuned for the next episode of “As the Jail Turns.”
