**Liberal News Outlet Ridiculed for Covering ‘Mysterious’ Decline in Fentanyl at the Border**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation scratching its collective head, a prominent liberal news outlet has published a groundbreaking exposé on the “mysterious” decline of fentanyl at the U.S.-Mexico border. The article, titled “Where Did All the Fentanyl Go? A Deep Dive into the Great Drug Disappearing Act,” has sparked a wave of ridicule across social media platforms.
The article opens with a dramatic quote from the outlet’s chief investigative reporter, Marge “The Mystery Maven” McGillicuddy, who stated, “It’s as if the fentanyl just vanished into thin air! We suspect it might be hiding in the Bermuda Triangle or possibly at a Taylor Swift concert.”
Experts were quick to weigh in, with Dr. Phil McCracken, a self-proclaimed “borderologist,” suggesting that the decline could be attributed to “the rise of TikTok dances that are just too catchy for drug dealers to resist.” He added, “I mean, who wants to deal drugs when you can do the ‘Renegade’?”
Meanwhile, social media users have taken to Twitter to express their disbelief. One user, @FentanylFinder, tweeted, “Maybe the fentanyl just got tired of being the bad guy and decided to pursue a career in interpretive dance. #FentanylOnBroadway.”
In a follow-up article, the outlet plans to investigate the “mysterious” rise of avocado toast consumption among millennials, suggesting that perhaps the two phenomena are connected. “If we can solve the avocado mystery, we might just crack the fentanyl case,” McGillicuddy concluded, her eyes gleaming with the thrill of the chase.
As the nation waits with bated breath for the next installment of this riveting saga, one thing is clear: when it comes to investigative journalism, nothing is too absurd to explore—especially if it involves a good mystery and a side of guacamole.
