Letter to the Editor: Toxic Maculinity Is Coming Back

Dear Editor,

It has come to my attention—and I suspect many others—that toxic masculinity is making a roaring comeback. Yes, you heard me right. Like a bad sequel to a movie nobody liked in the first place, toxic masculinity has decided that it’s not done with us yet. It’s like the mullet of social issues: a little business up front, but all chaos and awkwardness in the back.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But didn’t we already tackle this? Isn’t toxic masculinity just an outdated concept, like fanny packs and dial-up internet?” And yet, much like a forgotten ex-boyfriend who shows up at your front door in a leather jacket and inexplicable confidence, toxic masculinity is back and louder than ever. It’s wearing a “No Fear” T-shirt and telling everyone it could totally bench press a car if it wanted to, but it’s busy right now.

The Return of the “Bro Code”

It started innocently enough. A few weeks ago, I overheard a conversation at a local bar where one man—let’s call him Chad, for the sake of clarity—was loudly explaining to his friend that “real men don’t cry.” Now, aside from the fact that Chad looks like the human embodiment of a protein shake, I was immediately struck by how *1998* his worldview was. I mean, what’s next? Is Chad going to start telling us about the dangers of “being too woke” and how “cancel culture” is ruining his chances of becoming a professional Fortnite player?

We have now entered an era where people are proudly declaring that they’re “bringing back the bro code.” For those not familiar, the bro code is basically the ancient manuscript where every shred of emotional depth is traded for a love of overpriced whiskey and a belief that holding a door open is a “sign of weakness.”

Real Men Wear Pink—If It’s For Their *Limited Edition* Truck

What’s more disturbing is that these old-school “masculine” ideals are being dressed up in brand-new packaging, like some influencer’s limited-edition hoodie. The other day, I saw an Instagram post by *Dylan*, who made it his mission to remind us that real men wear pink—if it’s the custom color of the truck they just bought for $75,000. Dylan—who, by the way, calls his parents “the olds”—wrote, “Real men don’t need permission to express themselves…unless it involves something emotionally vulnerable, like asking for help or doing a load of laundry. That’s for the weak, dude.”

Clearly, Dylan is doing his part in “reviving masculinity.” And by “masculinity,” I mean the ability to flex in front of a mirror for five hours and then complain that no one respects your “grind.”

Enter the “Hyper-Masculine Renaissance” (Which is Really Just Being Bad at Feelings)

Experts agree—or at least, experts on Twitter agree—that toxic masculinity is creeping back into the mainstream like a drunk uncle at a family reunion. Dr. Melanie Hargrove, PhD in “Vibes Studies,” argues that we’re witnessing a “hyper-masculine renaissance.” She went on to say, “It’s like the ‘80s all over again, but with more facial hair and fewer mullets. Guys are all about being ‘alpha’ now. You know, talking about their stocks, their workout routines, and their unshakable belief that crying is a “weakness.” It’s a renaissance of bad decision-making and worse fashion choices.”

But it’s not just the gym bros bringing this toxic masculinity back. No, it’s everywhere. I recently witnessed a father explain to his son that “real men don’t use conditioner, because it’s for people who like soft things, and softness is for babies.” Yes, let me just grab my baby lotion and my trucker hat, because apparently, I’m not living my life correctly.

The Final, Inescapable Truth

In conclusion, I must tell you this: the *revival* of toxic masculinity isn’t just bad for society—it’s bad for people named Chad. Chad, buddy, I don’t know what happened to you in 2007, but the world has changed. We have apps now that help us find therapists, and they don’t even involve getting your friend to sign off on it. We have been given the tools to evolve, and yet, here we are, stuck in a cultural Groundhog Day where “real men” are still afraid to ask for directions, admit that they’re lost, or talk about their feelings without flexing first.

If this “toxic masculinity comeback” is a trend, then consider me a part of the resistance. We will not let this monster rise again, not without an emotional breakdown and a group hug first. But until that day comes, I’m keeping my fanny pack and, frankly, my hope that someday, Chad will learn that the true strength of a man lies not in the size of his biceps, but in his willingness to cry during *The Notebook*.

Sincerely, A Former Mullet-Wearer and Current Supporter of Healthy Emotional Expression

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Re: Letter to the Editor: Toxic Maculinity Is Coming Back

Dear Sissy,

Ah, I see we have another one of those “Oh no, toxic masculinity is coming back!” rants. How *original*! Just when I thought we had exhausted this conversation along with the 90s boy bands and the concept of buying overpriced skinny jeans, here comes another impassioned plea for the fragile feelings of modern manhood. Let’s dive into this, shall we?

Look, I get it. You’re upset that some guy named Chad is still living in 1998 and possibly using “No Fear” as his main personality trait. But let’s be clear—Chad isn’t the problem here. You are the problem. While Chad minds his business, you are out here writing out your frustrations about Chad and doing literally nothing worthwhile. Trust me, the man just wants to bench press a car and score.

Ah, the rise of hyper-masculinity. You know, I’m genuinely curious if you’ve mistaken “hyper-masculinity” for “badly fitting jeans that were designed to hurt my inner thighs.” I mean, when I hear about “alpha males” discussing stocks, workout routines, and their unwavering inability to shed a single tear in the face of *literally everything*, I can’t help but wonder: Are we still acting like we all want to live secretly in the closet? The world needs men. The world needs men’s men. The world needs bullies.

Let’s wrap this up, shall we? Toxic masculinity is a dumb term. He doesn’t need a therapist, he needs a nap, a protein bar, and maybe a little less *influencer wisdom* in his life.

So, my dear letter writer, as much as I admire your attempts at rescuing the fragile ego of the modern man, I think we’re all better off letting the Chads of the world remain as they are: cool, flexing in the mirror while thinking of new ways to kick little punk’s butts from here to the next state over.

Instead of writing a letter like this, why not be more like Chad?

Sincerely,
A Man’s Man, aka, the Editor