**Less Than Half of DOGE Contracts Are Publicly Traceable, Only a Quarter of Grants, Says Watchdog**
In a shocking revelation that has left the crypto world scratching its collective head, a watchdog group has announced that less than half of DOGE contracts are publicly traceable, and only a quarter of grants can be tracked. This news has sent shockwaves through the Dogecoin community, with many wondering if their beloved Shiba Inu coin is just a glorified game of hide-and-seek.
“Honestly, I thought we were just playing fetch with our investments,” said local DOGE enthusiast and self-proclaimed crypto guru, Barkley McBarkface. “Now I find out that less than half of our contracts are traceable? What’s next? Are we going to find out that the moon landing was staged by Elon Musk and a bunch of cats?”
The watchdog group, known as the “Canine Crypto Coalition,” released a statement claiming that the lack of transparency is concerning. “We’re not saying DOGE is a scam, but if it were a dog, it would definitely be the one that runs away every time you try to put a leash on it,” said coalition spokesperson, Paws McFluffington.
In response to the findings, Dogecoin founder Billy Markus tweeted, “I’m just here for the memes, not the math. If I wanted to do math, I’d have stayed in school!” Meanwhile, a local DOGE investor, who wished to remain anonymous, lamented, “I thought I was investing in a currency, not a game of ‘Where’s Waldo?’”
As the crypto community grapples with this revelation, one thing is clear: the only thing less traceable than DOGE contracts is the whereabouts of your missing socks after doing laundry. So, if you’re still holding onto your DOGE, just remember: it’s not about the money; it’s about the memes—and the occasional existential crisis.
