**Last Chance for Free Bags at Southwest as Airline Drops Beloved Benefit: A Hilarious Farewell to Our Favorite Carry-On Companions**
In a shocking turn of events that has left travelers reeling, Southwest Airlines announced today that they will be dropping their beloved free checked bag policy, effective immediately. This news comes as a devastating blow to the millions of passengers who have relied on the airline’s generous baggage policy to avoid the dreaded “pay-per-bag” fees that other airlines have embraced like a long-lost relative at a family reunion.
“Honestly, I thought I was dreaming when I heard the news,” said frequent flyer and self-proclaimed ‘Bag Whisperer’ Linda McBaggins. “I mean, what’s next? Charging us for the air we breathe on the plane? I can’t even afford to check my emotional baggage at this point!”
In a press conference that was more awkward than a first date, Southwest CEO Gary “Baggage Be Gone” Kelly explained the decision. “We realized that giving away free bags was just too generous. We want to be more like our competitors—who charge you for everything except the seat you sit on. We’re just trying to keep up with the Joneses, or in this case, the American Airlines.”
Passengers are now scrambling to find creative ways to avoid the new fees. “I’ve seen people trying to fit entire wardrobes into their carry-ons,” said local traveler and part-time magician, Dave “The Great Packini” Johnson. “I even saw a guy trying to wear three pairs of pants and a winter coat in July. It was like a fashion show gone wrong!”
As the clock ticks down on the last chance for free bags, travelers are encouraged to take advantage of this fleeting opportunity. “I’m going to stuff my entire kitchen sink in my suitcase,” said one determined passenger, who wished to remain anonymous. “If I can’t take my home with me, what’s the point of flying?”
So, dear readers, as we bid farewell to free bags at Southwest, let us remember the good times: the joy of packing too much, the thrill of dodging baggage fees, and the sweet, sweet sound of a zipper that finally gives in. Here’s to you, free bags—may you rest in peace, or at least in the overhead compartment of our hearts.
