**Las Vegas Gym Shooting: Victim and Shooter Identified by Police in a Bizarre Twist of Fate**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the Las Vegas fitness community reeling, police have identified both the victim and the shooter in what can only be described as the most dramatic episode of “The Biggest Loser” ever. The incident occurred at the “Guns & Gains” gym, where the motto is “Lift Heavy, Shoot Straight.”
The victim, identified as Chad “The Bicep Bandit” Johnson, was reportedly in the middle of a set of deadlifts when he was shot in the foot by fellow gym-goer, Larry “The Lethal Lifter” Thompson. Witnesses say the altercation began over a heated debate about the best protein powder. “I just wanted to know if he preferred whey or casein!” lamented gym-goer Sarah “Squat Queen” Smith. “Next thing I know, Larry’s pulling out a gun like it’s a protein shake!”
Police reports indicate that Larry was attempting to demonstrate his “quick draw” skills, which he claimed to have perfected during his time as a “professional paintball strategist.” “I thought it was a paintball gun!” Larry exclaimed, still in disbelief. “I mean, who brings a real gun to the gym? That’s just bad etiquette!”
Chad, who is currently recovering in the hospital, expressed his disappointment in a statement: “I just wanted to get ripped, not shot. I guess I should’ve stuck to cardio.” His doctor, Dr. Jane “The Muscle Whisperer” Thompson, added, “We’re just glad it was only his foot. If it had been his biceps, we’d have a real crisis on our hands.”
As the investigation continues, the gym has announced a new safety initiative: “No Guns, Just Gains.” In a bizarre twist, they are also offering a free month of membership to anyone who can successfully bench press a police officer.
In the end, it seems that in Las Vegas, even the gym can’t escape the chaos. As one anonymous gym-goer put it, “Only in Vegas can you get shot while trying to get fit. I guess that’s what they mean by ‘getting your cardio in!’”
