**Kim Jong Un Furious Over Damage to North Korea’s New Destroyer in Failed Launch: “I Wanted a Boat, Not a Floating Disaster!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the world both amused and bewildered, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has reportedly gone into a fit of rage after the disastrous launch of the country’s newest destroyer, the *SSS Unstoppable Force*. The vessel, which was meant to symbolize North Korea’s naval prowess, instead became a floating monument to poor planning and questionable engineering.
Eyewitnesses claim that the launch, which was attended by a select group of high-ranking officials and a few confused farm animals, ended in chaos when the destroyer promptly sank after a mere 30 seconds in the water. “It was like watching a toddler try to swim with a toaster,” said Kim’s chief advisor, General Hwang Dae-Oh, who was reportedly still trying to salvage his lunch from the sinking ship.
Kim, who was last seen wearing a life jacket and shouting “I wanted a boat, not a floating disaster!” has since ordered an investigation into the mishap. “We will find out who is responsible for this embarrassment,” he declared, while simultaneously blaming the incident on “Western sabotage” and “the fact that the ship was made from recycled soda cans.”
In a bizarre twist, Kim has also announced plans to launch a new reality show titled *North Korea’s Next Top Destroyer*, where contestants will compete to design the next naval vessel. “If we can’t build a destroyer, we might as well make it entertaining,” he quipped, adding, “At least the ratings will float!”
As North Korea grapples with this latest setback, experts are left wondering if the country’s next military strategy will involve inflatable boats or perhaps a fleet of rubber duckies. One thing is for sure: Kim Jong Un is not going down without a fight—or at least a good laugh.
