**Kermit the Frog to Give Commencement Speech at University of Maryland Graduation: “It’s Not Easy Being Green, But It’s Easier Than Student Loans”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left both students and faculty croaking with laughter, the University of Maryland has announced that none other than Kermit the Frog will deliver the commencement speech at this year’s graduation ceremony. The beloved amphibian, known for his wisdom and questionable fashion choices, is expected to inspire graduates with his unique blend of humor and existential dread.
“I can’t believe it,” said senior and self-proclaimed Muppet enthusiast, Sally Wiggins. “I was hoping for someone like Oprah or maybe even Elon Musk, but Kermit? That’s just ribbiting!”
Kermit, who has been busy filming his latest movie, “The Muppet Show: The Return of the Green,” expressed his excitement in a recent press conference. “It’s not easy being green, but it’s easier than student loans,” he quipped, adjusting his tiny graduation cap. “I mean, have you seen the interest rates? They’re scarier than Miss Piggy on a bad hair day!”
The university’s president, Dr. B. Lieve It, stated, “We wanted someone who could really connect with the students. Kermit embodies the spirit of perseverance, and let’s be honest, he’s way more relatable than any politician we could find.”
In a sneak peek of his speech, Kermit promised to share his top five tips for success, including “Always keep your friends close, and your flies closer,” and “If you can’t find your way, just follow the rainbow—unless it leads to a pot of gold, then you might want to reconsider.”
As graduation day approaches, students are already preparing for the inevitable flood of selfies with the iconic frog. “I just hope he doesn’t steal my diploma,” joked graduate-to-be, Timmy Toad. “I mean, he’s got a history of hopping away with things!”
With Kermit at the helm, this year’s commencement is sure to be a memorable one. As he famously said, “Life’s like a movie; write your own ending.” Just make sure to keep the script funny—after all, it’s not easy being green, but it sure is fun!
